I wish I were confident enough to say, hey, here I am, here is my real persona, or something of the like. I wish I were smart enough to say, hey, here's my diploma, etc. But I don't think diplomas matter worth a fuck. I wish I could walk into a job interview and say, hey, here I am, all of me. But I'm not all there, of course. And so they naturally start worrying (the interviewer). Was it something I said, they think. And consequently, they don't hire me. (These are all imagined scenarios). But still, it's gotta weigh on you to think all this shit on the daily. I used to not know how to pronounce "subsequently" until I read it in a couple of philosophy books, or maybe it was one professor who told me how it was really pronounced. Of course, that's a valuable skill, learning how to pronounce words, right? Not. But still, funny stuff happens on occasion and you've just gotta ride out the laughs until everybody gets off their high horse and starts getting depressed again in the middle of the conversation because they don't know how to interest themselves. I feel like a lull in most conversations means everybody is depressed. And that's normal. We've just gotta stop telling ourselves it is not normal.
I hope CU-Boulder honors me somehow, for being a tried-and-true soldier, or something. I don't know what they'd honor me for aside from the fact that I would like to say I submitted something to the Norlin Library whatever-the-fuck-it's-called contest. And so, maybe, they'll select my work, but I have a fucking feeling they won't. But that's alright, too. It really is.
I don't need recognition to survive.